Hope Faith & Love

It’s been so long since I’ve blogged! But I’m back :)

So, I’m currently stuck in this post-college limbo where I’m a little lost in regards to almost everything: career, love, and identity. This is something I definitely feared but was hoping I could avoid…nice try, right? I’m hoping it’s temporary, but it causes this bittersweet nostalgia of being an adolescent - not having to really worry about where you’ll be next year financially and career-wise, not having to worry about finding a guy because we all know it’s more difficult to meet people after college, and all the while trying to figure out what you want in life, what your dream is, and how to achieve it in a timely manner. 

Sometimes, we all wish we could turn back time and relive those moments that made us feel happy, loved, and accomplished. But the fact of the matter is, life moves on from those moments, and so should we. And it sucks because between two perfect moments are usually a bunch of really REALLY crappy ones, but the test of life is to overcome those in order to reach that next perfect moment. 

Now onto another topic…

I know EVERYONE has this issue every now and then about whether to tell a good friend that you have feelings for him/her. You don’t want to make things awkward if the conversation doesn’t go the way you intended it to, but if you don’t bring it up, you’ll always wonder if something good could’ve resulted from it. And, what if the opportunity has already passed, and you don’t want to reopen a scab by bringing it up? It seems like a lose-lose situation, and it’s scary when you think about really putting yourself out there and being completely vulnerable. I hate that.

But sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. Everything that happens to you teaches you a lesson, and even though you may not WANT to learn it, it’ll help you in the future….blah, blah, blah. It’s so hard taking my own advice - I’d rather give it to someone else, haha. 

Until next time, which hopefully won’t be too long from now. 

Why can’t I stay happy with myself? Ahhhh, I feel like I’m never satisfied or content with who I am and what I have - it’s so pathetic and annoying. I have so much to be happy and thankful for, and I need to stop being so selfish. On the other hand, you know how people say that everything you have means nothing if you don’t have someone to share it with? Or that love is the only thing you need to feel complete? I guess that’s why I feel what I feel. I know I should be patient, and I know that special guy will come along when the time is right. All of that is easier said than believed or accepted. I’m just a little tired of waiting, that’s all. I have so much love and affection to give, and it’s building up with no exit route. Why are guys such assholes now a days? What happened to chivalry and good values? That stupid player-mentality needs to die.

Closing an old chapter, starting a new one. I am excited :) 

But for now, it’s time to celebrate which means tomorrow I am starting my all-liquid diet ;)

Life, please treat me well.

Reasons:

1) promiscuous 2) inconsiderate 3) immature 4) simply not at my level

All in all, I just need so much more. So here’s to holding high standards and not making exceptions for those who don’t deserve it.

“Married Life” - Michael Giacchino (From Pixar’s “Up”)

This song makes me so incredibly happy and serene.

Enjoy :)

It’s week 10, and I cannot believe I’m almost done with college. In hindsight, I have no idea what I did this school year. It went by so quickly!! And it’s funny that even though I can’t recall many details from this past school year, I feel like this year has taught me the most. I have learned so much about myself, and I attribute that to the anxieties I feel about the future that awaits me. However, words cannot describe how excited I am to finally begin my life as an adult. After about 18 years of schooling, I have acquired valuable knowledge, good morals and values, and basically a deeper understanding of life. I consider myself to be very fortunate to know what I know and be able to better myself with every opportunity and every hardship. I try to surround myself with people who have reached this same level of…zen? But it’s disheartening when I encounter those who haven’t - people who still can’t take care of themselves, can’t be independent, don’t have good morals, don’t have common sense, people who are selfish, inconsiderate, rude, and just plain oblivious. I can only pray that they grow up soon. I’ve learned that life doesn’t wait for anyone. Opportunities are on a first come, first serve basis. Now, it’s time to take a deep breath and go.

I love watching youtube clips of people singing. They are so brave! And they’ve inspired me to want to do a cover as well =) I’ve always loved to sing (I love everything that relates to music), but I’ve always been scared to sing in public. I tend to go all out if I’m alone though haha! Music is such an awesome way to express yourself - your emotions, your feelings. Anyways, I want to do a cover soon, so in the meantime I will practice!!!

“People who want the most approval get the least and people who need approval the least get the most.”

Just when I thought everything in my life was going downhill, my faith was restored. I finally gave a big sigh of relief today, and it felt strange but so good. I got a call back from an internship I applied for, and it made me believe again that effort leads to success (despite all the failures I’ve experienced recently). I am so thankful for this opportunity, even though I’m not 100% sure I have the internship yet. I’m just thankful that someone is taking the time to get to know me; someone is trying to see my potential. Finally, I am given a chance.

For those who have contributed to my “failures”, I will prove to you that you were wrong. I know I am destined for greatness, and you will soon see that and realize what you had given up on. I’m finally working my way back up - one step at a time. I just hope this confidence lingers.